satire

Resting Bitch Face: 23 Sassy Observations From The First Presidential Debate

First, I rejoiced at Donald’s convention coup, then at Hillary’s coronation. Now, my two heroes on one stage!!! The only thing left is that Meet the Press/Spongebob crossover and I can die happy… Anyway, here are my observations from the first presidential debate: Hillary’s first answer was like a keyword orgasm. She’s been studying so hard, she had

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Word War I

I remember life being much better, simpler before I knew any of the following words: ____-shaming/bullying AI/algorithm Appropriation Big Data Binge-watch Buzzfeed/HuffPo/Upworthy Citizens United Click-through/Content marketing/SEO Co-working Coffee/brew/latte/Grande/roast/java Comic-Con Cosplay Disruption/bootstrap/exit/pivot Engagement Evangelical Experiential Fanboy Foodie Fracking Gamer Gerrymandering GMO Hacking Hashtag Hoodie Human trafficking Imam/cleric/jihad/fatwa/fundamentalist Inequality Influencer/Thought-leader IoT IRL Kanye Kardashian Listicle Militarization MOOC

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Impervious No More

I thought I was better than you. You were weak. I was strong. I thought I could resist. I did not. Now, I am a coffee junkie. No, I still don’t drink it in the morning – or malfunction until the drug hits my bloodstream. But suddenly I need a hit in the afternoon to

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