Hillary Clinton is like broccoli. You know it’s probably good for you, but you really crave Cheetos. She made her big pitch to America last night. I’d rate it at 1/3 Obamas. (Let’s face it, he’s a natural.) But compared to Donald Trump’s Hunger Games last week in Cleveland, Hillary made it clear there’s only one major-party candidate not […]
Trump impersonators must be having a field day – the facial expressions, the hand gestures, the orangeness – he’s in full blown Trump mode. Narcissism is the world’s most powerful force. Where can I get some more? There has to be a Trump-branded spray-on somewhere… Check under the steaks. Are we in Falouja?? You’d think
Now that England has #Brexited the Bilderberg, it’s single & ready to mingle. Free from EU bureaucracy, here are 10 ways Britain can use all that free time: 10. Rename 10 Downing Street — ’10 Downing Syndrome Street’ — and Great Britain — Little Britain. 9. Make Mr. Bean the next – and rightful – Prime Minister 8. Start
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I hereby announce my wholehearted endorsement of Donald J. Trump. You know that moment when you can’t find your own genitals in a sea of errant, blubbery flesh…? And your mom installed a bucket-pulley system to get KFC orders from the ground floor to your bed…? Then there’s a fire. Firefighters have to remove an
American hospitals are filling up with victims. Not of stabbings or terror attacks. These are victims of Twitter #abuse. On Valentine’s Day, 14 bloggers were rushed to Mount Sinai with life-threatening snark bites. Police blame the deadly snark attack on a #cyberbullying gang called HashHoles. The attacks may be linked to hundreds of half-baked opinions published by sites like Daily Beast, HuffPo
Twitter’s Countless Victims Await Ultimate Revenge Read More »
We need to talk. About The McFuture. It’s now years after the recession. Unemployment is at record lows, stocks are at record highs, and many of us are at record widths. We float in this infinity pool of Nutella, Netflix, and nip slips. Things that would make Caesar blush. We can learn any skill, order
‘Incrementalism’ only sounds like the next horrible religion to captivate Tom Cruise. It’s actually a chronic condition that’s claimed countless corporate careers. Its devastation can be measured in thousands of yards – of yacht downgrades. Before donating to your local Adopt-a-Yacht chapter, let’s study incrementalism’s latest victim, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer. Ms. Mayer opened the door to infection
Incremental Illness Claims Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer Read More »
There was a glorious time in the late 1600’s when American villagers gathered in large groups, at night…with torches, to confront the greatest scourge of their time – witches. Today, a new generation of digital villagers was born with equally divine powers – to hunt and slay evil directly from an iPhone 5s, possibly even